So I've begun training for my post-baby can't fit any of my clothes so gotta run like a million miles half-marathon, rapidly approaching May 20th - (you may notice that this post is the follow up to "I wanted to eat three loaves of cinnamon friendship bread' true confessions yesterday. yeah. gotta be honest - I kinda go back and forth on the whole 'healthy lifestyle' thing...)
Anyway - I was at the gym, feeling awesome and completely self-assured as I completed mile two and had yet to find full floods of sweat running down my back. And as I ran, the sun began to set, and I caught a glimpse of a beautiful winter sunset. I ran with reckless abandon, enjoying the fresh white snow as it gracefully fell. Darkness was quickly falling and as daylight slowly faded outside, and yet the gym lights remained on behind me, I moment-by-moment began to slowly make out my own reflection in the full window panes in front of me. Now, you know how people often talk about their 'AHA' moment. The moment when suddenly something becomes clear. How they were walking in a fog and suddenly they were faced with amazing unmistakable clarity. The crossroads in their life where they were met with complete and undeniable honesty. So, as the darkness fell, I believe I was given a gift. For it was at this moment that the window in front of me slowly transformed before my eyes and began to take on all the properties of a mirror. A full length pane of mirrors but two feet in front of my very eyes. But something else was also transforming before my eyes. This graceful fawn effortlessly leaping through the meadows, mother-of-three regaining control of her body and not taking prisoners, toned, tight, controlled, athletic wonder, well...
she was running about three machines down from me. and I. I was this kid....
But I gotta ask. Like I have done a few 5 km races, a 10 km, even a half-marathon over the years. I have logged countless miles. My loving husband and best friend serving as my biggest supporter - cheering as I would cross the finish lines. And not one person. no one. not one mention?? kinda makes you re-evaluate a few things.... :)
although this is not going to stop me - despite what self-respect may suggest. I'll probably stop silently judging the strangers staring at me as they pass by on the street...
3 comments:
LOL. Don't give up. You're awesome.
Ditto on Trina's comment. One step at a time!
FUNNY!! I have also had this moment of epiphany at the gym (sad, sad moment - but at least we're exercising!)
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